美國流行的 "你媽超胖" 系列梗 part1

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: Yo mama is so fat that her bellybutton gets home 15 minutes before she does.


1.你媽超胖，她的肚臍比她早到家 15 分鐘。


: Yo mama is so fat that when she was diagnosed with a flesh-eating disease,
: the doctor gave her ten years to live.


2.你媽超胖，當她得了蝕肉病時，醫生說她還剩十年可活。


: Yo mama is so fat that the National Weather Service names each one of her
: farts.


3.你媽超胖，胖到氣象局要為她放的每個屁取名字。
　　　　（通常只有颱風（颶風）才會有名字）


: Yo mama is so fat that when she wears a yellow raincoat, people yell "taxi!"


4.你媽超胖，當她穿上黃色雨衣時，人們會對著她喊「計程車！」


: Yo mama is so fat that she sat on a dollar and squeezed a booger out George
: Washington's nose.


5.你媽超胖，當她坐在一美元上時，會從華盛頓鼻孔中擠出鼻屎來。


: Yo mama is so fat that when she gets in an elevator, it has to go down.


6.你媽超胖，當她進電梯時，電梯只能向下。


: Yo mama is so fat that when her beeper goes off, people think she's backing
: up.


7.你媽超胖，當她的呼叫器響起時，別人以為她正在倒車。


: Yo mama is so fat that she has to iron her pants on the driveway.


8.你媽超胖，她的褲子必須攤在私家車道上才能熨。


                 指的是私有車道，最常見的是通往車庫的道路。
　　　　在美國影片中從馬路通往車庫的那條車道就是 driveway，也可用於停車。


: Yo mama is so fat that she left the house in high heels and came back wearing
: flip flops.


9.你媽超胖，她出門穿的高跟鞋到她回家時變成平底拖。


: Yo mama is so fat that people jog around her for exercise.


10.你媽超胖，人們會繞著她慢跑當運動。


: Yo mama is so fat that she was floating in the ocean and Spain claimed her
: for the New World.


11.你媽超胖，她之前在海上漂的時候被西班牙當成新大陸。


        哥倫布是西班牙人。


: Yo mama is so fat that you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie
: on the other side just to get her through!


12.你媽超胖，你得在門框上抹油並在另一側拿海綿蛋糕引誘她才能讓她穿過門。


                是一種包奶油餡的海綿蛋糕


: Yo mama is so fat that that when she sits on the beach, Greenpeace shows up
: and tries to tow her back into the ocean...


13.你媽超胖，當她坐在海灘上時，綠色和平組織會出現，並嘗試她拖回海中。


     


: Yo mama is so fat that when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too.


14.你媽超胖，當她玩高空彈跳時，橋也會跟著入水。


: Yo mama is so fat that when she talks to herself, it’s a long distance call.


15.你媽超胖，當她自言自語時要算長途電話。


: Yo mama is so fat that the last time she saw 90210, it was on a scale.


16.你媽超胖，她上次看到 90210 時，是在體重計上看到。



: Yo mama is so fat that light bends around her.


17.你媽超胖，光在她身邊會偏折。


        光的行進路線會因為重力而偏折，重力越大，偏折程度越大。


: Yo mama is so fat that I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still
: printing!


18.你媽超胖，我去年耶誕節幫她拍的照片到現在還沒印完。


: Yo mama is so fat that when she sat on Wal-Mart, she lowered the prices.


19.你媽超胖，她去大潤發的時候連價格都被她壓低了。


                 是美國知名大賣場，台灣一般譯為沃爾瑪。
        此處譯大潤發是基於本土化 (localization) 的考量。


: Yo mama is so fat that when she sat on an iphone, it turned into an ipad.


20.你媽超胖，iPhone 被她坐到會變成 iPad。


: Yo mama is so fat that she gets group insurance.


21.你媽超胖，胖到可以買團險。


: Yo mama is so fat that she was zoned for commercial development.


22.你媽超胖，胖到被規劃成商業區。


: Yo mama is so fat that she walked into the Gap and filled it.


23.你媽超胖，胖到走進峽谷峽谷就滿了。


: Yo mama is so fat that she comes at you from all directions.


24.你媽超胖，胖到能從四面八方接近你。


: Yo mama is so fat that when she climbed onto a diving board at the beach, the
: lifeguard told your dad "sorry, you can't park here".


25.你媽超胖，當她在海邊爬上跳板時，救生員跟你爸說：「抱歉，車不能停這裡。」


: Yo mama is so fat that her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard.


26.你媽超胖，她的榖片碗要附救生員。


: Yo mama is so fat that she looks like she’s smuggling a Volkswagen.


27.你媽超胖，胖到看起來像在走私福斯汽車。


        話說福斯歷史上最著名的車種是金龜車


: Yo mama is so fat that when she got her shoes shined, she had to take the guy
: ’s word for it.


28.你媽超胖，當她找人幫她擦鞋時，必須相信擦鞋人說的話。


        因為低頭看不見鞋


: Yo mama is so fat that when she sings, it’s over for everybody.


29.抱歉，理解不能。（想不出有什麼好笑的點）


: Yo mama is so fat that when she ran away, they had to use all four sides of
: the milk carton to display her picture.


30.你媽超胖，當她走失時，印她的協尋照片得用上牛奶盒的四個面。


        美國部分地區會在牛奶盒上印失蹤者的照片。